Back in September I joined a group of women from all over the world in a Bible reading challenge. It was the first time I seriously began to follow a plan in my Bible reading and something began to happen. It was not a specific passage or verse that caused it but the steady diet and consumption of the Word that began to have an effect on me.
I began to feel a kind of restlessness…who I was, what I do and why. It wasn’t this big noisy conversation and I would not have been able to articulate it at all. It was just a steady unspoken shifting of things. Life was moving along as usual but there was this current flowing behind the scenes that was doing something.
I believe that both Old and New testaments tell one story of God and His people but as I read every day the consistency and connection became stronger and stronger. I wasn’t doing anything wrong per se but I was beginning to question my motives. A few months further along and I can see Romans two was at work “…but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Things that had been easy before, enjoyed before, were becoming a burden. A certain discontent, not with the actual doing but the reason for doing, was growing. Something needed to change. And one day the words just spilled out and things sort of clicked in place.
I’m setting my camera down and I closed the old blog. There was a tremendous feeling of relief when that decision was made. I have a few photo commitments to complete and I will still do things for the school but I will not be taking or pursuing sessions in the new year. (Except birth photography. Rob and I discussed it and that is an avenue I will happily tread down whenever the opportunity presents itself.)
I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with What Marty Sees. From the beginning I struggled with its purpose. There are some posts that I think can stand the scrutiny of motivations and I am trying to figure out how to hold on to them for future references. Also, quite a few recipes that have been shared and pinned that may get a reboot here.
Change, even good change, comes with the loss of one thing in favor of another. Sometimes we pursue the change and sometimes that change is thrust upon us. Either way I am learning more deeply how the life I live must line up with what I say I believe He says about life lived as His child.
Romans two begins as a call to death. The way to discern His will is to first die, gladly offering self as a sacrifice…an act of worship. Paul goes on to tell us to not think more highly of ourselves than we ought but rather with sober judgement. Obviously, it’s not a call to naval gaze and self assessment but rather to look at the Father, to learn more fully His character and that of His Son. And as His Spirit draws us we can easily see and judge what is not good, acceptable or perfect and leave it behind.
Let love be genuine.
Hold fast to what is good.
Rejoice in hope.
Be constant in prayer.
Never be wise in your own sight.
Overcome evil with good.
God is the God of renewal, of redemption, of resurrection. He has already asked if old dried up bones can yet live and answered, “I have spoken, and I will do it, declares the Lord.”
Know that He is Lord.